Di waktu rehat di sebuah sekolah rendah, seorang pelajar darjah satu menangis di tepi kantin. Lalu bertanya seorang guru kepada budak tersebut.
Guru : " Kenapa nangis nie?"
Pelajar : "Duit saya hilang 5 ringgit cikgu"
Guru : "Oh ye ker , itu sebabnyer awak nangis, takper nah 5 ringgit, dah jangan nangis lagik yer"
Pelajar tersebut berhenti menangis seketika, setelah mengambil duit yg dihulurkan kepadanya td, dier menangis semula. Guru yg kehairanan bertanyakan smula knaper dier menangis semula lalu.
Guru : "La knaper menangis lagik nie, kan cikgu dah bg duit tadi?"
Pelajar: " Memang la cikgu dah ganti, tp kalo duit td x hilang kan sayer dah ader 10 ringgit
Guru : "???!!!" memang bakal ahli politik budak nie!
About Me
Friday, July 17, 2009
Kuku Badak
Si Bobo bertanya: Kenapa Kuku badak warna merah ek??
Si Din menjawab: Mmmm... Ntah la x tau pulak aku..
Si Bobo: Yerla nanti senang dier nak menyorok blakang pokok cempedak..
Si Din: Tipu la ko nie.. mana bleh badak besar camtu bleh nyorok blakang pokok cempedak
Si Bobo : La ko x penah tgk ker badak nyorok blakang pokok cempedak??
Si Din : Btul mana ader x logik la..
Si Bobo : HA maknanya betul la dier berjaya sembunyi blakang pokok cempedak
tu. hehe
Si Din menjawab: Mmmm... Ntah la x tau pulak aku..
Si Bobo: Yerla nanti senang dier nak menyorok blakang pokok cempedak..
Si Din: Tipu la ko nie.. mana bleh badak besar camtu bleh nyorok blakang pokok cempedak
Si Bobo : La ko x penah tgk ker badak nyorok blakang pokok cempedak??
Si Din : Btul mana ader x logik la..
Si Bobo : HA maknanya betul la dier berjaya sembunyi blakang pokok cempedak
tu. hehe
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
lawak hantu
"Dua ekor hantu bertemu dan bercerita bagaimana mereka mati......
> > Hantu 1 : Bagaimana kau boleh mati?
> > Hantu 2 : Aku mati akibat kesejukan...
> > Hantu 1 : Macam mana rasanya mati dlm kesejukkan tu?
> > Hantu 2 : Sebenarnya aku terkurung dalam peti ais...mula2 aku cuma
> > menggigil, lepas tu anggota aku mula membeku, kemudian aku rasa
dunia
>aku
> > gelap dan akhirnya.....tapi aku rasa bersyukur kerana aku mati
tanpa
> > banyak kesakitan....
> > Hantu 1 : Ishhh...kesiannya kau
> > Hantu 2 : Kau pulak, macam mana kau boleh mati....?
> > Hantu 1 : Aku kena serangan sakit jantung...
> > Hantu 2 : Oooo...cam mana kau boleh kena serangan sakit jantung?
> > Hantu 1 : Sebenarnya aku dapat tahu isteri aku curang. Suatu hari,
aku
> > balik ke rumah secara mengejut. Aku nampak ada kasut lelaki kat
depan
> > pintu. Aku tahu mesti isteri aku sedang bermesra dengan jantan
lain..
>Aku
> > berlari masuk bilik tidur, cuma ada isteri aku...aku tahu mesti
jantan
>tu
> > bersembunyi kat mana2..aku lari masuk bilik air, tak de jugak,
kemudian
> > aku lari ke tingkat bawah, tengok dalam setor, pun tak ade...aku
lari
>naik
> > tingkat atas semula, tengok dalam almari.....sebab terlalu penat
aku
> > berlari la aku kena sakit jantung...memang sakit dan akhirnya....
> > Hantu 2 : Apasal kau tak tengok dalam peti ais...kalau tak, kita
berdua
> > masih hidup lagi sekarang ni....
> > Hantu 1 : Bagaimana kau boleh mati?
> > Hantu 2 : Aku mati akibat kesejukan...
> > Hantu 1 : Macam mana rasanya mati dlm kesejukkan tu?
> > Hantu 2 : Sebenarnya aku terkurung dalam peti ais...mula2 aku cuma
> > menggigil, lepas tu anggota aku mula membeku, kemudian aku rasa
dunia
>aku
> > gelap dan akhirnya.....tapi aku rasa bersyukur kerana aku mati
tanpa
> > banyak kesakitan....
> > Hantu 1 : Ishhh...kesiannya kau
> > Hantu 2 : Kau pulak, macam mana kau boleh mati....?
> > Hantu 1 : Aku kena serangan sakit jantung...
> > Hantu 2 : Oooo...cam mana kau boleh kena serangan sakit jantung?
> > Hantu 1 : Sebenarnya aku dapat tahu isteri aku curang. Suatu hari,
aku
> > balik ke rumah secara mengejut. Aku nampak ada kasut lelaki kat
depan
> > pintu. Aku tahu mesti isteri aku sedang bermesra dengan jantan
lain..
>Aku
> > berlari masuk bilik tidur, cuma ada isteri aku...aku tahu mesti
jantan
>tu
> > bersembunyi kat mana2..aku lari masuk bilik air, tak de jugak,
kemudian
> > aku lari ke tingkat bawah, tengok dalam setor, pun tak ade...aku
lari
>naik
> > tingkat atas semula, tengok dalam almari.....sebab terlalu penat
aku
> > berlari la aku kena sakit jantung...memang sakit dan akhirnya....
> > Hantu 2 : Apasal kau tak tengok dalam peti ais...kalau tak, kita
berdua
> > masih hidup lagi sekarang ni....
benggong nyer babi
> > pade satu hari, ade seko babi. die ade seko kawan baik yang bernama
> > badak...
> >
> > Pada satu ari, babi itu meminta rakannya melukis gambarnya.Badak
pon
> > menggunakan segala kekreatifan yang ada padanye utk. melukis gambar
> > kawannye
> > itu....
> > Apabila lukisan itu siap,badak pun menyerahkan lukisan itu kpd
babi
> itu.
> > Selepas
> > memerhati lukisan tu,dengan sepantas kilat sang babi itu memberi
satu
> > flying
> > kick kat badak .... kesian badak terselit kat celah batu tempat dia
> > melukis
> > kawan nya tu..... lalu babi tu berkata "lagi sekali ko lukis gambar
aku
> > macam babi, aku bunuh ko".
> > badak...
> >
> > Pada satu ari, babi itu meminta rakannya melukis gambarnya.Badak
pon
> > menggunakan segala kekreatifan yang ada padanye utk. melukis gambar
> > kawannye
> > itu....
> > Apabila lukisan itu siap,badak pun menyerahkan lukisan itu kpd
babi
> itu.
> > Selepas
> > memerhati lukisan tu,dengan sepantas kilat sang babi itu memberi
satu
> > flying
> > kick kat badak .... kesian badak terselit kat celah batu tempat dia
> > melukis
> > kawan nya tu..... lalu babi tu berkata "lagi sekali ko lukis gambar
aku
> > macam babi, aku bunuh ko".
4 simple question
elow are four (4) questions.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready?
GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question: You are participating in a race. You
overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you
are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second
person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to mess up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
You're not very good at this are you?
Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth?
Answer:
Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready?
GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question: You are participating in a race. You
overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you
are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second
person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to mess up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?
You're not very good at this are you?
Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth?
Answer:
Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again.
x jd
tadi ader cam betting ngan somebody,
tp raser bersalah pulak nak buat ,
karang a lot of issue timbul nanti
so better tak yah
kira dier menang la
lain kali gue try cara lain
tungguuuu
tp raser bersalah pulak nak buat ,
karang a lot of issue timbul nanti
so better tak yah
kira dier menang la
lain kali gue try cara lain
tungguuuu
Monday, July 13, 2009
Malalish
Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.
(worst)
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who call?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me..
Malaysians: No need lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?
WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die lah!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?
WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you
hidung
Kita memiliki hidung berlubang disebelah kiri dan disebelah kanan. Apakah fungsinya sama untuk menarik dan membuang nafas ?
(Our noses have left and right nostrils. Are these nostrils having the same function for inhaling/"breathe- in" and exhaling/"breathe- out"?).
-
Sebenarnya fungsinya tidak sama dan dapat kita rasakan bedanya, sebelah kanan mewakili matahari (mengeluarkan panas ) dan sebelah kiri mewakili bulan (mengeluarkan dingin ).
( Actually it's not the same and we can feel the difference. Accordingly, the right side represents the sun/"heat" and the left side represents the moon/"cold") .
-
Jika sakit kepala , cubalah menutup lubang hidung sebelah kanan dan bernafaslah melalui hidung sebelah kiri dan lakukan kira-kira 5 minit , sakit kepala akan sembuh .
( When having headache, try to close your right nostril and use your left nostril to do breathing for about 5 min. The headache will be gone).
-
Jika anda merasa lelah , tutuplah lubang hidung sebelah kiri dan bernafaslah melalui hidung sebelah kanan . Lakukan ulang-alik . Tak lama kemudian, anda akan merasakan segar kembali. Sebab lubang hidung sebelah kanan mengeluarkan panas, sehingga banyak sekali panas , lubang hidung sebelah kiri mengeluarkan dingin .
(If you feel too tired, do it the opposite way. Close your left nostril and breathe through your right nostril. After a while, you will feel refresh again. Because the right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily. The left side gets cold easily).
-
Perempuan bernafas lebih dengan hidung sebelah kiri , sehingga hatinya cepat menjadi dingin . Laki-laki bernafas lebih dengan hidung sebelah kanan , sehingga cepat sekali marah .
(Women breathe mainly with their left nostril, so they get calm down easily. Men breathe mostly with their right nostril, so they get angry easily).
-
Apakah anda pernah memperhatikan pada saat bangun tidur, lubang hidung sebelah mana yang bernafas lebih cepat ? Sebelah kiri atau kanan ? Jika lubang hidung sebelah kiri bernafas lebih cepat , anda akan merasa sangat lelah . Tutuplah lubang hidung sebelah kiri dan gunakan lubang hidung sebelah kanan untuk bernafas , anda akan merasa segar kembali dengan cepat.
( When we wake up, do we notice which nostril breathes faster? Is it the left side or the right side ? If the left nostril breathes faster, you will feel very tired. Close your left nostril and use your right nostril for breathing and you will get refresh quickly)
Cara tersebut boleh diajarkan kepada anak-anak , tetapi kesannya akan lebih baik jika diterapkan kepada orang dewasa .
(You can teach your kids about it. The effect of breathing therapy is much better for adults).
-
Saya biasanya merasakan sakit kepala , dan rasanya perit. Kemudian saya berjumpa doktor dan beliau bergurau: "Anda akan sembuh jika berumah tangga !" Doktor itu tidak bicara kosong. Apa yang dia sampaikan adlah berdasarkan teori dan testimoni. Selama itu, setiap malam saya merasakan sakit kepala dan tidak dapat belajar. Saya mengambil obat , tetapi tidak sembuh .
( I used to have painful headache. When consulted a doctor, he told me jokingly," You will be all right if you get married!" The doctor did not bullshit me as he had his theory and supported with testimony. During that time, I used to have headache every night and I was not able to study.. I took medicine but I was not cured).
-
Pada suatu malam, saya duduk bermeditasi dan menutup lubang hidung sebelah kanan dan bernafas dengan lubang hidung sebelah kiri . Dalam kurang dari satu minggu , sakit kepala saya sembuh . Saya teruskan melakukannya selama 1 bulan, sejak malam itu sampai sekarang , sakit kepala saya tidak berulang lagi.
(One night as I sat down to medidate, I closed my right nostril and breathed with my left nostril. In less than a week, it seemed that my headache problem had left me! I continued doing it for about a month and since then there was no recurrence of headache in me) .
-
Ini adalah pengalaman saya sendiri .. Saya beritahukan hal ini kepada orang lain, jika sakit kepala, cubalah cara tersebut kerana sangat efektif buat saya. Banyak orang lain telah mencubanya dan berhasil . Ini adalah terapi alam, tidak seperti makan ubat dalam jangka panjang yang memungkinkan ada kesan sampingannya. Jadi kenapa anda tidak mencubanya ?
(This is my own experience. I used to tell others who also suffer headache to try this method as it was effective for me. It also works for those who have tried as well. This is a natural therapy, unlike taking medicines for a long time may have side effect. So, why don't you try it out?) .
-
Dengan mempraktikkan terapi pernafasan ini secara betul (menarik dan mengeluarkan nafas), keadaan tubuh anda akan sangat tenang.
( Practice the correct ways of breathing/ "breathe in and breathe out" and your body will be in a very relaxing conditio
Jika ingin bunuh diri, cubalah menutup kedua lubang hidung anda ( sebelah kanan dan kiri ) dan lakukan kira-kira 2 jam , maka anda tidak akan merasakan apa-apa sakit lagi selepas itu .
( When you are having suicide, please try to closed both of your nostril { right and left side } for about 2 hours, then you feel nothing 'aka' gone.
Semoga sangat bermanfaat buat kawan² semua..
(Our noses have left and right nostrils. Are these nostrils having the same function for inhaling/"breathe- in" and exhaling/"breathe- out"?).
-
Sebenarnya fungsinya tidak sama dan dapat kita rasakan bedanya, sebelah kanan mewakili matahari (mengeluarkan panas ) dan sebelah kiri mewakili bulan (mengeluarkan dingin ).
( Actually it's not the same and we can feel the difference. Accordingly, the right side represents the sun/"heat" and the left side represents the moon/"cold") .
-
Jika sakit kepala , cubalah menutup lubang hidung sebelah kanan dan bernafaslah melalui hidung sebelah kiri dan lakukan kira-kira 5 minit , sakit kepala akan sembuh .
( When having headache, try to close your right nostril and use your left nostril to do breathing for about 5 min. The headache will be gone).
-
Jika anda merasa lelah , tutuplah lubang hidung sebelah kiri dan bernafaslah melalui hidung sebelah kanan . Lakukan ulang-alik . Tak lama kemudian, anda akan merasakan segar kembali. Sebab lubang hidung sebelah kanan mengeluarkan panas, sehingga banyak sekali panas , lubang hidung sebelah kiri mengeluarkan dingin .
(If you feel too tired, do it the opposite way. Close your left nostril and breathe through your right nostril. After a while, you will feel refresh again. Because the right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily. The left side gets cold easily).
-
Perempuan bernafas lebih dengan hidung sebelah kiri , sehingga hatinya cepat menjadi dingin . Laki-laki bernafas lebih dengan hidung sebelah kanan , sehingga cepat sekali marah .
(Women breathe mainly with their left nostril, so they get calm down easily. Men breathe mostly with their right nostril, so they get angry easily).
-
Apakah anda pernah memperhatikan pada saat bangun tidur, lubang hidung sebelah mana yang bernafas lebih cepat ? Sebelah kiri atau kanan ? Jika lubang hidung sebelah kiri bernafas lebih cepat , anda akan merasa sangat lelah . Tutuplah lubang hidung sebelah kiri dan gunakan lubang hidung sebelah kanan untuk bernafas , anda akan merasa segar kembali dengan cepat.
( When we wake up, do we notice which nostril breathes faster? Is it the left side or the right side ? If the left nostril breathes faster, you will feel very tired. Close your left nostril and use your right nostril for breathing and you will get refresh quickly)
Cara tersebut boleh diajarkan kepada anak-anak , tetapi kesannya akan lebih baik jika diterapkan kepada orang dewasa .
(You can teach your kids about it. The effect of breathing therapy is much better for adults).
-
Saya biasanya merasakan sakit kepala , dan rasanya perit. Kemudian saya berjumpa doktor dan beliau bergurau: "Anda akan sembuh jika berumah tangga !" Doktor itu tidak bicara kosong. Apa yang dia sampaikan adlah berdasarkan teori dan testimoni. Selama itu, setiap malam saya merasakan sakit kepala dan tidak dapat belajar. Saya mengambil obat , tetapi tidak sembuh .
( I used to have painful headache. When consulted a doctor, he told me jokingly," You will be all right if you get married!" The doctor did not bullshit me as he had his theory and supported with testimony. During that time, I used to have headache every night and I was not able to study.. I took medicine but I was not cured).
-
Pada suatu malam, saya duduk bermeditasi dan menutup lubang hidung sebelah kanan dan bernafas dengan lubang hidung sebelah kiri . Dalam kurang dari satu minggu , sakit kepala saya sembuh . Saya teruskan melakukannya selama 1 bulan, sejak malam itu sampai sekarang , sakit kepala saya tidak berulang lagi.
(One night as I sat down to medidate, I closed my right nostril and breathed with my left nostril. In less than a week, it seemed that my headache problem had left me! I continued doing it for about a month and since then there was no recurrence of headache in me) .
-
Ini adalah pengalaman saya sendiri .. Saya beritahukan hal ini kepada orang lain, jika sakit kepala, cubalah cara tersebut kerana sangat efektif buat saya. Banyak orang lain telah mencubanya dan berhasil . Ini adalah terapi alam, tidak seperti makan ubat dalam jangka panjang yang memungkinkan ada kesan sampingannya. Jadi kenapa anda tidak mencubanya ?
(This is my own experience. I used to tell others who also suffer headache to try this method as it was effective for me. It also works for those who have tried as well. This is a natural therapy, unlike taking medicines for a long time may have side effect. So, why don't you try it out?) .
-
Dengan mempraktikkan terapi pernafasan ini secara betul (menarik dan mengeluarkan nafas), keadaan tubuh anda akan sangat tenang.
( Practice the correct ways of breathing/ "breathe in and breathe out" and your body will be in a very relaxing conditio
Jika ingin bunuh diri, cubalah menutup kedua lubang hidung anda ( sebelah kanan dan kiri ) dan lakukan kira-kira 2 jam , maka anda tidak akan merasakan apa-apa sakit lagi selepas itu .
( When you are having suicide, please try to closed both of your nostril { right and left side } for about 2 hours, then you feel nothing 'aka' gone.
Semoga sangat bermanfaat buat kawan² semua..
__._,_.___
Sekuriti di kedai saya.....
Sejak kebelakangan ini, memang banyak kes jenayah yang berlaku. Untuk meningkatkan keselamatan di kedai saya, saya terpaksa mengupah seorang sekuriti guard yang sangat sangat gagah.
Saya telah berjumpa dengan banyak agen untuk mendapatkan sekuriti yang gagah. Walaupun saya berjumpa dengan banyak ajen, saya tetap tidak berpuas hati. Akhirnya saya terjumpalah agen yang boleh menyediakan sekuriti yang jenis itu. Menurutnya sekuriti yang paling gagah adalah dari afrika. Walaupun gajinya amat tinggi, saya tetap mengambilnya.
Sudah 3 bulan dia bekerja dengan saya, saya amat puas hati kerana tiada apa-apa yang berlaku. Tetapi, masalahnya, bukan sahaja penjenayah takut nak masuk ke pejabat saya, pelanggan pun takut nak masuk....
Apa masalahnya??? Saya pun tak tau. Jika anda kawan saya, tolonglah cadangkan kepada saya...
Bersama ini saya sertakan gambar sekuriti saya.
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Difference between Westerners and Asians -
This is very interesting, just read on.
To group all races of Asians as one is to over generalize.
Asian races are more diverse than Caucasians,
i.e. Indians differ from Chinese in most respects.
|
(3) Punctuality Westerners: on time. Asians: in time. (4) Contacts Westerners: Contact to related person only. Asians: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful. (5) Anger Westerners: Show that I am angry. Asians: I am angry, but still smiling... (Beware!) (6) Queue when Waiting Westerners: Queuing in an orderly manner. Asians: Queuing? What's that? (7) Sundays on the Road Westerners: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully. Asians: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall. (8) Party Westerners: Only gather with their own group. Asians: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO. (9) In the restaurant Westerners: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant. Asians: Talk and laugh loudly like they own the restaurant. (10) Travelling Westerners: Love sightseeing and enjoying the scenery. Asians: Taking pictures is the most important; scenery is just for the background. (11) Handling of Problems Westerners: Take any steps to solve the problems. Asians: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. (12) Three meals a day Westerners: Good meal for once a day is sufficient. Asians: At least 3 good meals a day. (13) Transportation Westerners: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection. Asians: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car (14) Elderly in day-to-day life Westerners: When old, there is Snoopy for companionship. Asians: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to babysit grandkids. (15) Moods and Weather Westerners: The logic is: rain is pain. Asians: More rain, more prosperity (16) The Boss Westerners: The boss is part of the team. Asians: The boss is a fierce god. (17) What's Trendy Westerners: Eat healthy Asian cuisine. Asians: Eat expensive Western cuisine. (18) The Child Westerners: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living. Asians: Slog whole life for the kids, the centre of your life. |
HARGA SEORANG WANITA BERGELAR ' ISTERI '
Hargailah isteri anda......
Mulianya seorang isteri disisi Allah...
Dan betapa berharganya wanita yang bergelar isteri
ini pada keluarga, suami dan anak-anak
Rugi dan binasalah suami-suami yang tidak menghargai isteri
mereka kerana isteri inilah yang akan membantu mereka di akhirat kelak.
Biarlah buruk mana isteri anda,
sayangilah mereka......
Beruntungnya seorang wanita yang ada rahim ini ialah dia bekerja
dengan Tuhan... jadi 'kilang ' manusia.
Tiap-tiap bulan dia diberi cuti bergaji penuh....
7 sehingga 15 hari sebulan dia tak wajib sembahyang
tetapi Allah anggap diwaktu itu sembahyang terbaik darinya.
Cuti bersalin juga sehingga 60 hari ,
Bila dah bersalin tu, susukanlah anak...jgn takut "kendur" atau menggelebeh pulak...
Si suami pulak, jgn la berebut dengan anak untuk menyusu pulak....
Cuti ini bukan cuti suka hati tapi cuti yang Allah beri sebab dia bekerja dengan Allah ,
Tapi bila dah habis cuti tu.. . layanlah suami..."offer" lah pada suami ,
Nabi bersabda: berjimak dgn isteri itu pahala ...jangan buat deekkk jeee,
Jangan buat alasan itu dan ini pulak....ingat tu si isteri yee!!!
Kata nak pahala lebih...
Orang lelaki tak ada cuti dari sembahyang.....
sembahyang wajib baginya dari baligh sehingga habis nyawanya...
Satu lagi berita gembira untuk wanita, Sepanjang dia mengandung
Allah sentiasa mengampunkan dosanya,
Lahir saja bayi seluruh dosanya habis.
Inilah nikmat Tuhan beri kepada wanita,
jadi kenapa perlu takut nak beranak?
Marilah kita pegang kepada tali Allah.
Seandainya wanita itu mati sewaktu bersalin, itu dianggap mati syahid, Allah izinkan terus masuk Syurga.
Untuk orang bukan Islam, dia tak dapat masuk Syurga tapi
Allah beri kelonggaran seksa kubur.
Untuk peringatan semua wanita yang bersuami
seluruh kebaikan suaminya, semuanya isteri dapat pahala
tetapi dosa-dosa suami dia tak tanggung.
Di akhirat nanti seorang wanita solehah akan
terperanjat dengan pahala extra yang banyak dia
terima di atas segala kebaikan suaminya yang tak disedari.
Contohnya bila dia redha suaminya pergi berjemaah di masjid
atau ke majlis ilmu, bersedekah.. ganjaran Alah ke atasnya jua. .
Bila dia lihat suaminya tengah terhegeh-hegeh di titian
Sirat dia tak nak masuk syurga tanpa suaminya,
jadi dia pun memberi pahalanya kepada
suami untuk lepas masuk syurga.
Di dunia lagi, kalau suami dalam kesusahan
isteri boleh bantu tambah lagi di akhirat.
Kalau seorang isteri asyik merungut, mulut selalu muncung
terhadap suami dia tak akan dapat pahala extra ini.
Manakala suami pula mempunyai tugas-tugas berat di dalam dan
di luar rumah, segala dosa-dosa anak isteri yang tak dididik
dia akan tanggung ditambah lagi dengan dosa-dosa yang lain..
Dinasihatkan kepada semua wanita supaya faham akan syariat
Allah agar tidak derhaka denganNya.
Ses u ngguhnya wanita dijadikan daripada rusuk kiri lelaki.
Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki,juga bukan dari tapak
kaki. Dia dicipta dari sebelah rusuk kiri lelaki supaya dia hampir
kepada kamu(lelaki) ,lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan
wanita,dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi.
Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
She was made from his side to be close to him,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him.
"Wahai Tuhan...
ku tak layak ke syurgamu ...
namun tak pula aku sanggup ke nerakamu...
kamilah hamba yang mengharap belas darimu ...
"Ya Allah...
jadikanlah kami hamba-hamba mu yang bertaqwa ..
ampunkan dosa-dosa kami, kedua ibubapa kami,
dosa semua umat-umat islam yang masih hidup mahupun yang telah
meninggal dunia"......
Kubur itu gelap, cahayanya ialah Laa Ilaaha IllalLah..
Jika diletakkan langit dan bumi di sebelah dacing, dan kalimah ini
di sebelah yang satu lagi, pasti lebih berat lagi nilai kalimah 'Laa ilaaha illalLah' ini.
Rasulullah saw. bersabda (mafhumnya): "Wahai manusia! Ucaplah 'Laa ilaaha illalLah', kamu pasti berjaya!"
Marilah kita ucapkan kalimah ini:
"Laa ilaaha illallah!" x 10
Setelah ucapkannya sebanyak 10 kali, panjangkan/fowardkan email ini kepada sekurang- kurangnya 10 orang rakan-rakan anda. Bayangkan betapa besarnya pahala yang Allah sediakan, hanya untuk usaha kita yang sedikit ini
Mulianya seorang isteri disisi Allah...
Dan betapa berharganya wanita yang bergelar isteri
ini pada keluarga, suami dan anak-anak
Rugi dan binasalah suami-suami yang tidak menghargai isteri
mereka kerana isteri inilah yang akan membantu mereka di akhirat kelak.
Biarlah buruk mana isteri anda,
sayangilah mereka......
Beruntungnya seorang wanita yang ada rahim ini ialah dia bekerja
dengan Tuhan... jadi 'kilang ' manusia.
Tiap-tiap bulan dia diberi cuti bergaji penuh....
7 sehingga 15 hari sebulan dia tak wajib sembahyang
tetapi Allah anggap diwaktu itu sembahyang terbaik darinya.
Cuti bersalin juga sehingga 60 hari ,
Bila dah bersalin tu, susukanlah anak...jgn takut "kendur" atau menggelebeh pulak...
Si suami pulak, jgn la berebut dengan anak untuk menyusu pulak....
Cuti ini bukan cuti suka hati tapi cuti yang Allah beri sebab dia bekerja dengan Allah ,
Tapi bila dah habis cuti tu.. . layanlah suami..."offer" lah pada suami ,
Nabi bersabda: berjimak dgn isteri itu pahala ...jangan buat deekkk jeee,
Jangan buat alasan itu dan ini pulak....ingat tu si isteri yee!!!
Kata nak pahala lebih...
Orang lelaki tak ada cuti dari sembahyang.....
sembahyang wajib baginya dari baligh sehingga habis nyawanya...
Satu lagi berita gembira untuk wanita, Sepanjang dia mengandung
Allah sentiasa mengampunkan dosanya,
Lahir saja bayi seluruh dosanya habis.
Inilah nikmat Tuhan beri kepada wanita,
jadi kenapa perlu takut nak beranak?
Marilah kita pegang kepada tali Allah.
Seandainya wanita itu mati sewaktu bersalin, itu dianggap mati syahid, Allah izinkan terus masuk Syurga.
Untuk orang bukan Islam, dia tak dapat masuk Syurga tapi
Allah beri kelonggaran seksa kubur.
Untuk peringatan semua wanita yang bersuami
seluruh kebaikan suaminya, semuanya isteri dapat pahala
tetapi dosa-dosa suami dia tak tanggung.
Di akhirat nanti seorang wanita solehah akan
terperanjat dengan pahala extra yang banyak dia
terima di atas segala kebaikan suaminya yang tak disedari.
Contohnya bila dia redha suaminya pergi berjemaah di masjid
atau ke majlis ilmu, bersedekah.. ganjaran Alah ke atasnya jua. .
Bila dia lihat suaminya tengah terhegeh-hegeh di titian
Sirat dia tak nak masuk syurga tanpa suaminya,
jadi dia pun memberi pahalanya kepada
suami untuk lepas masuk syurga.
Di dunia lagi, kalau suami dalam kesusahan
isteri boleh bantu tambah lagi di akhirat.
Kalau seorang isteri asyik merungut, mulut selalu muncung
terhadap suami dia tak akan dapat pahala extra ini.
Manakala suami pula mempunyai tugas-tugas berat di dalam dan
di luar rumah, segala dosa-dosa anak isteri yang tak dididik
dia akan tanggung ditambah lagi dengan dosa-dosa yang lain..
Dinasihatkan kepada semua wanita supaya faham akan syariat
Allah agar tidak derhaka denganNya.
Ses u ngguhnya wanita dijadikan daripada rusuk kiri lelaki.
Dia bukan dicipta dari kepala ke kaki,juga bukan dari tapak
kaki. Dia dicipta dari sebelah rusuk kiri lelaki supaya dia hampir
kepada kamu(lelaki) ,lengan lelaki dicipta untuk mempertahankan
wanita,dekat dengan hati lelaki untuk disayangi.
Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,
She was made from his side to be close to him,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him.
"Wahai Tuhan...
ku tak layak ke syurgamu ...
namun tak pula aku sanggup ke nerakamu...
kamilah hamba yang mengharap belas darimu ...
"Ya Allah...
jadikanlah kami hamba-hamba mu yang bertaqwa ..
ampunkan dosa-dosa kami, kedua ibubapa kami,
dosa semua umat-umat islam yang masih hidup mahupun yang telah
meninggal dunia"......
Kubur itu gelap, cahayanya ialah Laa Ilaaha IllalLah..
Jika diletakkan langit dan bumi di sebelah dacing, dan kalimah ini
di sebelah yang satu lagi, pasti lebih berat lagi nilai kalimah 'Laa ilaaha illalLah' ini.
Rasulullah saw. bersabda (mafhumnya): "Wahai manusia! Ucaplah 'Laa ilaaha illalLah', kamu pasti berjaya!"
Marilah kita ucapkan kalimah ini:
"Laa ilaaha illallah!" x 10
Setelah ucapkannya sebanyak 10 kali, panjangkan/fowardkan email ini kepada sekurang- kurangnya 10 orang rakan-rakan anda. Bayangkan betapa besarnya pahala yang Allah sediakan, hanya untuk usaha kita yang sedikit ini
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Pig Fat
WHY PIG FAT IS NOT MENTIONED BUT CODE(S) ARE PRINTED?
In nearly all the western countries including Europe, the PRIMARY
choice for meat is PIG. There are a lot of farms in these countries to A
breed this animal. In France alone, Pig Farms account for more than
42,000.
PIGS have the highest quantity of FAT in their body than any other
animal. But Europeans and Americans try to avoid fats.
Thus, where does the FAT from these PIGS go? All pigs are cut
inslaughter houses under the control of the department of food and it
was the headache of the department of food to! dispose of the fat
removed from these pigs.
Formally, it was burnt (about 60 years ago). Then they thought of
utilizing it. First, they experimented it in the making of SOAPS and
it worked.
Then, a full network was formed and this FAT was chemically Processed,
Packed and Marketed, while the other manufacturing companies bought
it. In the meantime, all European States made it a rule that every
Food, Medical and Personal Hygiene product should have the ingredients listed on its cover.
so, this ingredient was listed as PIG FAT.
Those who are living in Europe for the past 40 years know about this.
But, these products came under a ban by the ISLAMIC COUNTRIES at that time, which resulted in a trade deficit.
Going back in time, if you are somehow related to South East Asia, you
might know about the provoking factors of the 1857 CIVIL WAR. At that
time, Rifle Bullets were made in Europe and transported to the
sub-continent through the Sea. It took months to reach there and the
gun powder in it was ruined due to the exposure to sea.
Then, they got the idea of coating the Bullets with fat, which was PIG
FAT. The fat layer had to be scratched by teeth before using them.
When the word spread, the soldiers, mostly Muslim and some
Vegetarians, refused to fight.Which eventually lead to the Civil War.
The Europeans recognized these facts, and instead of writing PIG FAT,
they started writing ANIMAL FAT.All those living in Europe since
1970's know this fact. When the companies were asked by authorities
from the MUSLIM COUNTRIES, what animal fat is it, they were told it
was COW and SHEEP Fat. Here again a question raised, if it was COW or
SHEEP Fat, still it is HARAAM to MUSLIMS, as these animal were not
SLAUGHTERED as per the ISLAMIC LAW. Thus, they were again banned.
Now, these multinational companies were again facing a severe drought
of money as 75% of their income comes from selling their goods to
Muslim Countries, and these earn BILLIONS OF DOLLARS of Profit from
their exports to the MUSLIM WORLD.
Finally they decided to start a coding language, so that only their
Departments of Food Administration should know what they are using,
and the common man is left lurking in the dark.Thus, they started
E-CODES. These E- INGREDIENTS are present in a majority of products of multinational firms including, but not limited to -
TOOTH PASTE,
SHAVING CREAM
CHEWING GUM,
CHOCOLATE,
SWEETS,
BISCUITS,
CORN FLAKES,
TOFFEES,
CANNED FOODS,
FRUIT TINS.
Some medication Multi-vitamins Since these goods are being used in all
MUSLIM Countries indiscrimately, our society is facing problems like
shamelessness, rudeness and sexual promiscuity.
So, I request all MUSLIMS or non pork eaters to check the ingredients
of the ITEMS of daily use and match it with the following list of
E-CODES. If any of the ingredients listed below is found, try to avoid it, as it has got PIG FAT;
E100, E110, E120, E 140, E141, E153, E210, E213, E214, E216, E234,
E252,E270, E280, E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337, E422, E430,
E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473,
E474, E475,E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494,
E495, E542,E570, E572, E631, E635, E904.
Courtesy
Dr. M. A! mjad Khan
Medical Research Institute
United States.
Dr M Liaqat (PhD Food Biochemistry)
MA CONSULTING
UK.
Please share this with your friends,
relatives and all the people you love & care.
In nearly all the western countries including Europe, the PRIMARY
choice for meat is PIG. There are a lot of farms in these countries to A
breed this animal. In France alone, Pig Farms account for more than
42,000.
PIGS have the highest quantity of FAT in their body than any other
animal. But Europeans and Americans try to avoid fats.
Thus, where does the FAT from these PIGS go? All pigs are cut
inslaughter houses under the control of the department of food and it
was the headache of the department of food to! dispose of the fat
removed from these pigs.
Formally, it was burnt (about 60 years ago). Then they thought of
utilizing it. First, they experimented it in the making of SOAPS and
it worked.
Then, a full network was formed and this FAT was chemically Processed,
Packed and Marketed, while the other manufacturing companies bought
it. In the meantime, all European States made it a rule that every
Food, Medical and Personal Hygiene product should have the ingredients listed on its cover.
so, this ingredient was listed as PIG FAT.
Those who are living in Europe for the past 40 years know about this.
But, these products came under a ban by the ISLAMIC COUNTRIES at that time, which resulted in a trade deficit.
Going back in time, if you are somehow related to South East Asia, you
might know about the provoking factors of the 1857 CIVIL WAR. At that
time, Rifle Bullets were made in Europe and transported to the
sub-continent through the Sea. It took months to reach there and the
gun powder in it was ruined due to the exposure to sea.
Then, they got the idea of coating the Bullets with fat, which was PIG
FAT. The fat layer had to be scratched by teeth before using them.
When the word spread, the soldiers, mostly Muslim and some
Vegetarians, refused to fight.Which eventually lead to the Civil War.
The Europeans recognized these facts, and instead of writing PIG FAT,
they started writing ANIMAL FAT.All those living in Europe since
1970's know this fact. When the companies were asked by authorities
from the MUSLIM COUNTRIES, what animal fat is it, they were told it
was COW and SHEEP Fat. Here again a question raised, if it was COW or
SHEEP Fat, still it is HARAAM to MUSLIMS, as these animal were not
SLAUGHTERED as per the ISLAMIC LAW. Thus, they were again banned.
Now, these multinational companies were again facing a severe drought
of money as 75% of their income comes from selling their goods to
Muslim Countries, and these earn BILLIONS OF DOLLARS of Profit from
their exports to the MUSLIM WORLD.
Finally they decided to start a coding language, so that only their
Departments of Food Administration should know what they are using,
and the common man is left lurking in the dark.Thus, they started
E-CODES. These E- INGREDIENTS are present in a majority of products of multinational firms including, but not limited to -
TOOTH PASTE,
SHAVING CREAM
CHEWING GUM,
CHOCOLATE,
SWEETS,
BISCUITS,
CORN FLAKES,
TOFFEES,
CANNED FOODS,
FRUIT TINS.
Some medication Multi-vitamins Since these goods are being used in all
MUSLIM Countries indiscrimately, our society is facing problems like
shamelessness, rudeness and sexual promiscuity.
So, I request all MUSLIMS or non pork eaters to check the ingredients
of the ITEMS of daily use and match it with the following list of
E-CODES. If any of the ingredients listed below is found, try to avoid it, as it has got PIG FAT;
E100, E110, E120, E 140, E141, E153, E210, E213, E214, E216, E234,
E252,E270, E280, E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337, E422, E430,
E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473,
E474, E475,E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494,
E495, E542,E570, E572, E631, E635, E904.
Courtesy
Dr. M. A! mjad Khan
Medical Research Institute
United States.
Dr M Liaqat (PhD Food Biochemistry)
MA CONSULTING
UK.
Please share this with your friends,
relatives and all the people you love & care.
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